@Arif - Exactly - you've hit the nail right on its head.
The point is you can't get honey if you kick the beehive. Similarly, to do well, you need to earn the boss's respect, confidence and favor too. Nothing bad or unethical about it especially if you are not employing any unethical means.
@Rramxx: Thanks for the good words. You're right, it is important to read the article to understand what it says.
I take your point about not having to defend - wanted to clarify that the post doesn't advocate anything unethical but as you said, it is amply clear in the article itself.
Thanks again :)
From India, Delhi
246The point is you can't get honey if you kick the beehive. Similarly, to do well, you need to earn the boss's respect, confidence and favor too. Nothing bad or unethical about it especially if you are not employing any unethical means.
@Rramxx: Thanks for the good words. You're right, it is important to read the article to understand what it says.
I take your point about not having to defend - wanted to clarify that the post doesn't advocate anything unethical but as you said, it is amply clear in the article itself.
Thanks again :)
From India, Delhi
Hi Bodhi,
Seeing the link 'how to flatter your boss' I wasn't too keen to spend my time on it. However after looking at the debate that followed, I changed my mind and went though the article. Sorry to say, to me it seems to be a writing which says how to be a sycophant without making it obvious. The 'technique' may work with lot of people, but personally I don't think it is the right thing to do or propagate. Where the trick works it does at the expense of someone else with self respect and is better qualified.
Thanks
Robin Thomas
HR Manager
Cabot Technology Solutions
From India, Kochi
Seeing the link 'how to flatter your boss' I wasn't too keen to spend my time on it. However after looking at the debate that followed, I changed my mind and went though the article. Sorry to say, to me it seems to be a writing which says how to be a sycophant without making it obvious. The 'technique' may work with lot of people, but personally I don't think it is the right thing to do or propagate. Where the trick works it does at the expense of someone else with self respect and is better qualified.
Thanks
Robin Thomas
HR Manager
Cabot Technology Solutions
From India, Kochi
@Robin_Thomas: Appreciate your taking time out to read the article - however disagree on that it promotes "being a sycophant" or "reduces self respect".
Please specify which of the five steps mentioned are demeaning or reducing one's self respect or which of these steps you would want your staff members not to follow.
These are the steps mentioned in the article:
1. Ask for advice
2. Give specific praise
3. Help him do well in front of his bosses
4. Don't act too smart in front of him
5. Don't drag an argument with him
From India, Delhi
Please specify which of the five steps mentioned are demeaning or reducing one's self respect or which of these steps you would want your staff members not to follow.
These are the steps mentioned in the article:
1. Ask for advice
2. Give specific praise
3. Help him do well in front of his bosses
4. Don't act too smart in front of him
5. Don't drag an argument with him
From India, Delhi
After going through number of user’s responses, respective suggestions and knowledge and experience sharing, my first questions to everyone “Why to flatter our bosses and why not to develop and good understanding/professional relationship with Bosses instead of flattering? why we allow or follow FLATTERING and never object?
The old saying “Boss is always right” has also changed by initiating both Boss and Assistant/ responsible executive to offer/allow suggestions, experience and knowledge sharing and if one still is living with it or believe on it, need to recognize the required change and development in thinking and personal /professional life.
I second, Shilpi not agree that FLATTERING IS IMPORTANT OR REQUIRED to get benefit from BOSSES and in addition to this I wanna say “TIME IS CHANGING” and we are living in 21st century. Change and development in system, work, and culture, thinking or believing with every aspect of life is required.
I also buy the statement given by BODHISUTRA “Disagreement is good and it only helps bring different viewpoints out in the open“ which actually the way to create a knowledge and sharing world that helps to develop thinking, understanding and good culture.
BODHISUTRA you has rightly said that just flattering can’t help the one to reach top but helps sometime a lot and we are having these in our system and affected badly but hard work always count and shows the ability, skills and gives actual and practical experience, and learning that makes good professional to enjoy and live professional life. By Flattering, allurements or using butter to get benefits from Bosses actually a way of doing injustice with other deserving things/people even to ourselves.
We almost daily speaks about modernization, developing our system, about corporate culture and that we need to work towards effectiveness and betterment of system and improve ourselves with every aspect of life/work life but if still are living with these kind of old thinking/believing set us apart from the present. “Faltering and earn benefits (Promotion, increment etc) by Boss and Bosses liked it or to feel good” is also evidently says about how much we are addicted to live with these old things and not accepting required changes or living in present. I accept we cannot ignore the presence and effectiveness of these things in our system but until we object or work to eradicate these bad elements in our system, we cannot get the solution or development in this regard. Which why we are lacking behind in many things with other countries, and their system, culture/ thinking and take much time to accept modernization because of the existence of these things.
Presence of element in this query/question/ responses and that we all need to remember and valued are Seniority, Experience, Knowledge, Understanding, Respect, and Good Ethics, Corporate Culture but must not include flattering.
About me, I am also working with a Managing Director (Direct for many roles /work) of a Company from last 4 years and have worked with CEO/JMD’s in past. And, In my initial years, I remember, I was asked to do the same to get promotion and to get appreciate (Flattering) by many seniors and mates (in/outside), friends but after realization and development in my professional life and support of my Bosses, or say good professional terms, understanding, I found it lost a long away but still cant deny the presence of it my around with many …and how much this is effective.
CHANGE/DEVELOPMENT IS REQUIRED IN THIS MATTER, therefore, I also expect my seniors, mates to support and work together.
From India, Gurgaon
The old saying “Boss is always right” has also changed by initiating both Boss and Assistant/ responsible executive to offer/allow suggestions, experience and knowledge sharing and if one still is living with it or believe on it, need to recognize the required change and development in thinking and personal /professional life.
I second, Shilpi not agree that FLATTERING IS IMPORTANT OR REQUIRED to get benefit from BOSSES and in addition to this I wanna say “TIME IS CHANGING” and we are living in 21st century. Change and development in system, work, and culture, thinking or believing with every aspect of life is required.
I also buy the statement given by BODHISUTRA “Disagreement is good and it only helps bring different viewpoints out in the open“ which actually the way to create a knowledge and sharing world that helps to develop thinking, understanding and good culture.
BODHISUTRA you has rightly said that just flattering can’t help the one to reach top but helps sometime a lot and we are having these in our system and affected badly but hard work always count and shows the ability, skills and gives actual and practical experience, and learning that makes good professional to enjoy and live professional life. By Flattering, allurements or using butter to get benefits from Bosses actually a way of doing injustice with other deserving things/people even to ourselves.
We almost daily speaks about modernization, developing our system, about corporate culture and that we need to work towards effectiveness and betterment of system and improve ourselves with every aspect of life/work life but if still are living with these kind of old thinking/believing set us apart from the present. “Faltering and earn benefits (Promotion, increment etc) by Boss and Bosses liked it or to feel good” is also evidently says about how much we are addicted to live with these old things and not accepting required changes or living in present. I accept we cannot ignore the presence and effectiveness of these things in our system but until we object or work to eradicate these bad elements in our system, we cannot get the solution or development in this regard. Which why we are lacking behind in many things with other countries, and their system, culture/ thinking and take much time to accept modernization because of the existence of these things.
Presence of element in this query/question/ responses and that we all need to remember and valued are Seniority, Experience, Knowledge, Understanding, Respect, and Good Ethics, Corporate Culture but must not include flattering.
About me, I am also working with a Managing Director (Direct for many roles /work) of a Company from last 4 years and have worked with CEO/JMD’s in past. And, In my initial years, I remember, I was asked to do the same to get promotion and to get appreciate (Flattering) by many seniors and mates (in/outside), friends but after realization and development in my professional life and support of my Bosses, or say good professional terms, understanding, I found it lost a long away but still cant deny the presence of it my around with many …and how much this is effective.
CHANGE/DEVELOPMENT IS REQUIRED IN THIS MATTER, therefore, I also expect my seniors, mates to support and work together.
From India, Gurgaon
Hi Bodhisutra,
I saw the chain of mails and thought about sharing the impressions I got on going through the article. To me the logic behind the article was self explanatory and that was what I penned down. The intention is perhaps to share some short cuts to success and that part is appreciated. May be you need to go through it again from a different perspective and your queries I hope will be answered. I did not mean to offend anyone.
Thanks & Regards
Robin Thomas
From India, Kochi
I saw the chain of mails and thought about sharing the impressions I got on going through the article. To me the logic behind the article was self explanatory and that was what I penned down. The intention is perhaps to share some short cuts to success and that part is appreciated. May be you need to go through it again from a different perspective and your queries I hope will be answered. I did not mean to offend anyone.
Thanks & Regards
Robin Thomas
From India, Kochi
@Robin_Thomas: Please don't get me wrong. I am not offended.
I am just trying to understand what exactly is causing such discomfort and your specific feedback can help me discover that.
The intention of the article is NOT to share success short cuts (methinks there actually are no short cuts to success) - the idea is to share timeless truths of maintaining good relations with the boss without compromising on your self respect, without saying, "Boss is always right" and in a completely ethical and professional way.
If it comes across as a success short cut or something underhand, please help me figure out which of the five gives you that impression.
If I am missing something (very much possible), it will help me understand it and if both you and I agree that these five steps are perfectly ethical, professional and effective, we'll hold hands and say, "That's a nice way to deal with the boss" :)
From India, Delhi
I am just trying to understand what exactly is causing such discomfort and your specific feedback can help me discover that.
The intention of the article is NOT to share success short cuts (methinks there actually are no short cuts to success) - the idea is to share timeless truths of maintaining good relations with the boss without compromising on your self respect, without saying, "Boss is always right" and in a completely ethical and professional way.
If it comes across as a success short cut or something underhand, please help me figure out which of the five gives you that impression.
If I am missing something (very much possible), it will help me understand it and if both you and I agree that these five steps are perfectly ethical, professional and effective, we'll hold hands and say, "That's a nice way to deal with the boss" :)
From India, Delhi
Dear Bodhisutra
I like the article and the points you elaborated in your rejoinders. I agree with the views totally. As mentioned by a Member, 'Flattery' is not a good word in Management or Social Behaviour, and generally people find it difficult to endorse it as good trait. Members who found fault with the article perhaps find it unacceptable to endorse 'Flattery', but could not lend weight in their arguments on the intent or content of the article, which is fair, logical and practical. If the title is something like "How to get going with the Boss" or "How to keep good relations with Boss of the Team" or something else without the use of the word 'Flatter', the article would have received approbation from all sections of the Readers.
Glad that you posted the article for discussion.
Nityananda
+919866377183
From India, Hyderabad
I like the article and the points you elaborated in your rejoinders. I agree with the views totally. As mentioned by a Member, 'Flattery' is not a good word in Management or Social Behaviour, and generally people find it difficult to endorse it as good trait. Members who found fault with the article perhaps find it unacceptable to endorse 'Flattery', but could not lend weight in their arguments on the intent or content of the article, which is fair, logical and practical. If the title is something like "How to get going with the Boss" or "How to keep good relations with Boss of the Team" or something else without the use of the word 'Flatter', the article would have received approbation from all sections of the Readers.
Glad that you posted the article for discussion.
Nityananda
+919866377183
From India, Hyderabad
@TNityananda: Guess that's what is happening - more like a case of the whole post being judged by a single word "flattery" than what's inside.
In a way, that endorses the point of the article - what's inside is important but people (including the boss) judge you more by how to connect with them - if you give out the "wrong" impression, you'll have difficulty convincing them of your inner value.
Thanks for the appreciation.
From India, Delhi
In a way, that endorses the point of the article - what's inside is important but people (including the boss) judge you more by how to connect with them - if you give out the "wrong" impression, you'll have difficulty convincing them of your inner value.
Thanks for the appreciation.
From India, Delhi
We need to be practical and more aware of how things work instead of going by bookish ideas of what should work.
Most of the times our decision making is not completely objective - we do tend to favor those who we like - the same is true of the boss. I think the article only recognizes the human nature of the boss and outlines some ways to keep good terms with him/her.
From India, Ghaziabad
Most of the times our decision making is not completely objective - we do tend to favor those who we like - the same is true of the boss. I think the article only recognizes the human nature of the boss and outlines some ways to keep good terms with him/her.
From India, Ghaziabad
Guys,
I would like to add a few things here. Every one of us is humane, and not Robots..
A Robot only doesn't need any kind of appreciation or excuse for any of the things that it is doing.
Even nowdays Humanoids, (Robots which can act and react are being in the process of innovation).
Let us all be a human. We have all one common goal. Work with Pleasure . Appreciate where it deserves and Politely criticise when it demands...
Human values are more important than anything in life... Boss is of no exception too...
Regards and best wishes..
From India, Mumbai
I would like to add a few things here. Every one of us is humane, and not Robots..
A Robot only doesn't need any kind of appreciation or excuse for any of the things that it is doing.
Even nowdays Humanoids, (Robots which can act and react are being in the process of innovation).
Let us all be a human. We have all one common goal. Work with Pleasure . Appreciate where it deserves and Politely criticise when it demands...
Human values are more important than anything in life... Boss is of no exception too...
Regards and best wishes..
From India, Mumbai
Find answers from people who have previously dealt with business and work issues similar to yours - Please Register and Log In to CiteHR and post your query.
1.Be a Better Boss and not a Bitter Boss.doc