In the UK, when personal questions are asked, and if they do not want to answer, they just touch their nose with their fingers. It means do not be "nosy". Like Swami Anubhavananda says in his lectures it is best to change the topic and completely avoid answering personal questions. Once, we start answering one question, the questions multiply.
From United Kingdom
1621From United Kingdom
Hi,
When I face situations where I do not want to give out information, all I do is smile and ask the other person politely, "why do you want to know?" and in almost all the cases the question stops there and then or is diverted. I don't think your HR would be of much help.
Take care
From India, Delhi
When I face situations where I do not want to give out information, all I do is smile and ask the other person politely, "why do you want to know?" and in almost all the cases the question stops there and then or is diverted. I don't think your HR would be of much help.
Take care
From India, Delhi
Hi,
I fully agree with Ankita, you will have to be refuse them politely. Just smile politely, ignore the question, and ask them a work-related question, but there are many who are over curious as if their world is dependent on your answer and they will not give up easily, If they press you, just say, "Thanks for the interest, but I prefer to focus on work while in the office."
Please remember you don't have to worry about what people think as we are just colleague's and it is best to make it known at the earliest.
Regards
Anita
From India, Mumbai
I fully agree with Ankita, you will have to be refuse them politely. Just smile politely, ignore the question, and ask them a work-related question, but there are many who are over curious as if their world is dependent on your answer and they will not give up easily, If they press you, just say, "Thanks for the interest, but I prefer to focus on work while in the office."
Please remember you don't have to worry about what people think as we are just colleague's and it is best to make it known at the earliest.
Regards
Anita
From India, Mumbai
Hi,
Gents also intrude and ask personal details at least from male colleaques but may avoid doing same with ladies.
These kind of situations are difficult to avoid as one comes across all types of colleagues.
I agree with most of what has been suggested and would like to suggest the following :--
1. If possible , do not allow emotions to show. So what ,so many people split.It is not a crime.
2.Try and answer with a smile and say "I am uncomfortable with this and request you not to broach this subject, even though I know that you mean well and are a well wisher."
3.Never breakdown. Be strong.Best is yet to come so never feel down in dump.
4.Be polite but avoid, if possible those who are in habit of asking personal questions.
5.First handle it youself. Approach HR only if can it becomes unmanageable.
Always remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Regards,
Col.Suresh Rathi
From India, Delhi
Gents also intrude and ask personal details at least from male colleaques but may avoid doing same with ladies.
These kind of situations are difficult to avoid as one comes across all types of colleagues.
I agree with most of what has been suggested and would like to suggest the following :--
1. If possible , do not allow emotions to show. So what ,so many people split.It is not a crime.
2.Try and answer with a smile and say "I am uncomfortable with this and request you not to broach this subject, even though I know that you mean well and are a well wisher."
3.Never breakdown. Be strong.Best is yet to come so never feel down in dump.
4.Be polite but avoid, if possible those who are in habit of asking personal questions.
5.First handle it youself. Approach HR only if can it becomes unmanageable.
Always remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Regards,
Col.Suresh Rathi
From India, Delhi
Man by nature is a social animal (they live in groups). They just want to know about you. This is curiosity which is present in all human. I don't think one can neither survive nor succeed without divulging their marital status in any organisation.
May be asking questions on salary would be uncultured. Yet these are essential personal questions, which you can gently answer.
From India, Bangalore
May be asking questions on salary would be uncultured. Yet these are essential personal questions, which you can gently answer.
From India, Bangalore
Hi Friends,
I agree with Vaishalee Parkhi. You have to be very diplomatic in answering such question. Even a team leader may be very inqusitive in collecting your personal and professional information so his task of managing the team is simplified. Defferent person is to be handled differently and unless a TL gathers some personal information, his task of knowing each member of the team may not be over. Take it sportingly to avoid any tangle in the team and you will be comfortable. Share only what you are suppose to and keep your self esteem high always.
regards
Ram Singh
From India, Mumbai
I agree with Vaishalee Parkhi. You have to be very diplomatic in answering such question. Even a team leader may be very inqusitive in collecting your personal and professional information so his task of managing the team is simplified. Defferent person is to be handled differently and unless a TL gathers some personal information, his task of knowing each member of the team may not be over. Take it sportingly to avoid any tangle in the team and you will be comfortable. Share only what you are suppose to and keep your self esteem high always.
regards
Ram Singh
From India, Mumbai
HI,
I fully agree with Vaishalee Parkhi and whenever some people ask about your personnel details, you have to be answer diplomatically and avoid it with smile .............it is the best way to avoid the situation.
Regards,
Sarwan
From Vietnam, Tây Ninh
I fully agree with Vaishalee Parkhi and whenever some people ask about your personnel details, you have to be answer diplomatically and avoid it with smile .............it is the best way to avoid the situation.
Regards,
Sarwan
From Vietnam, Tây Ninh
Many members have given good practical suggestions. All that I can add is that donot show that you are irritated with such invasive queries. Some people get sadistic pleasure in seeing others irritated and try to rub salt to the wound. So, donot show them that you are irritated. Smile, divert the topic, ask some difficult work related questions to them so that they go away. If some times all this are not possible, tell them you will let them know the secret 'after wards'!
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi Anonymous,
I fully agree with Vaishalee.She has given the best suggestion.Just smile away on some questions and if at all made to answer give some very vague answers while exploring the best way to change topic.Practising this for some time will send the right signal.I am telling you from my own experience.I am a bachelor and colleagues used to ask me why I am not marrying ? Do I have an unmarried sister ? Is there any other problem ? Are my parents demanding dowry ? (although they never).Am I not worried about who shall look after me in old age ? etc etc..The colleagues were otherwise helpful in work but could not stop probing my personal life.Then I decided to handle all this tactfully so that they are not hurt nor do I have to part with information which is not necessary for them.So try my trick.All the best !
S.K.LIMAYE
From India, New Delhi
I fully agree with Vaishalee.She has given the best suggestion.Just smile away on some questions and if at all made to answer give some very vague answers while exploring the best way to change topic.Practising this for some time will send the right signal.I am telling you from my own experience.I am a bachelor and colleagues used to ask me why I am not marrying ? Do I have an unmarried sister ? Is there any other problem ? Are my parents demanding dowry ? (although they never).Am I not worried about who shall look after me in old age ? etc etc..The colleagues were otherwise helpful in work but could not stop probing my personal life.Then I decided to handle all this tactfully so that they are not hurt nor do I have to part with information which is not necessary for them.So try my trick.All the best !
S.K.LIMAYE
From India, New Delhi
HI,
I agree that ladies are bit curious as well as sentimental, be very inquisitive in collecting personal and professional information but they are not dangerous. Like you, I also worked for very long time with guys and very few ladies and now working with only lady staff. I being a lady, did not know how to handle ladies ??? Trust me, may be few might irritate with silly questions, but ladies are always co-operative, will come forward to help you in times of difficulties, they can very well understand your problems and try to save you from guys who tries to take advantage.
If you are comfortable you can share your feelings with one or two .. so that you will feel light to know you have someone to share.
Otherwise like suggested by many, politely you can show them that you are not comfortable with personal questions.
Gents also tries to collect personal details through others. Some will take advantage of the situation. I had my manager who tried to collect information about my relation with my husband through my other lady collegue !!!!!!!! though I had no family problems. In one of my office, married guys misbehaved with lady staff who were not married untill they were 29..30 years. Also some use to take advantage of lady collegues whose husband is away / abroad etc., I am not blaming the male gender, but trying to say that Good & bad are qualities of human not biased on gender.
So my dear friend, be relaxed..........enjoy working with new set up....
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
I agree that ladies are bit curious as well as sentimental, be very inquisitive in collecting personal and professional information but they are not dangerous. Like you, I also worked for very long time with guys and very few ladies and now working with only lady staff. I being a lady, did not know how to handle ladies ??? Trust me, may be few might irritate with silly questions, but ladies are always co-operative, will come forward to help you in times of difficulties, they can very well understand your problems and try to save you from guys who tries to take advantage.
If you are comfortable you can share your feelings with one or two .. so that you will feel light to know you have someone to share.
Otherwise like suggested by many, politely you can show them that you are not comfortable with personal questions.
Gents also tries to collect personal details through others. Some will take advantage of the situation. I had my manager who tried to collect information about my relation with my husband through my other lady collegue !!!!!!!! though I had no family problems. In one of my office, married guys misbehaved with lady staff who were not married untill they were 29..30 years. Also some use to take advantage of lady collegues whose husband is away / abroad etc., I am not blaming the male gender, but trying to say that Good & bad are qualities of human not biased on gender.
So my dear friend, be relaxed..........enjoy working with new set up....
Rathna
From India, Bangalore
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