Hii Friends...Enjoy:-P
LITTLE JOHNNY ADVENTURES:icon10:
Teacher: Y are u late? :-x
Johnny :there was a man who lost a Rs.100 note.
Teacher: that's nice.Were u helping him look for it?
Johnny : Nooo…..I was standing on it:huh:
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Johnny: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Johnny: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow:icon10:
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Johnny: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!:-D
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Johnny : I is ……
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."
Johnny: All right… "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.":confused:
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class. :-x
Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could. :icon6::icon6:
Teacher: How does Hen comes out of the Egg?
Johnny: Thats not a big question Madam, the interesting question is,
'How does the Hen go inside the Egg'!! " :-D:-P
From India, Delhi
5LITTLE JOHNNY ADVENTURES:icon10:
Teacher: Y are u late? :-x
Johnny :there was a man who lost a Rs.100 note.
Teacher: that's nice.Were u helping him look for it?
Johnny : Nooo…..I was standing on it:huh:
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Johnny: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Johnny: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow:icon10:
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Johnny: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!:-D
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Johnny : I is ……
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."
Johnny: All right… "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.":confused:
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class. :-x
Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could. :icon6::icon6:
Teacher: How does Hen comes out of the Egg?
Johnny: Thats not a big question Madam, the interesting question is,
'How does the Hen go inside the Egg'!! " :-D:-P
From India, Delhi
Nice one Sindhu....:-D
Nepali anthem:
सुनो गौर से दुनिया वालों,
चाहे कितने महल बना लो,
उसके आगे garden बना लो,
उसके आगे gate लगा लो,
उसके आगे होंगे हम Nepali
शाबजी...:icon6:
Teacher: आसमान में उड़ने वाली चीज़ अंडे देती है, ज़मीन पर रहने वाली बच्चे देती है, कौन सी
चीज़ है जो आसमान में उड़ती है, पर बच्चे ज़मीन पर देती है?
Johnny: ओजी Sir! "Airhostess"
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman: Yeh post office hai, police station nahi.
Man: Kya karu? Kahan jau? Sala Khushi k maare kuchh samajh me nahi aa raha.
Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life... The wives want both! :confused:
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye :icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Nepali anthem:
सुनो गौर से दुनिया वालों,
चाहे कितने महल बना लो,
उसके आगे garden बना लो,
उसके आगे gate लगा लो,
उसके आगे होंगे हम Nepali
शाबजी...:icon6:
Teacher: आसमान में उड़ने वाली चीज़ अंडे देती है, ज़मीन पर रहने वाली बच्चे देती है, कौन सी
चीज़ है जो आसमान में उड़ती है, पर बच्चे ज़मीन पर देती है?
Johnny: ओजी Sir! "Airhostess"
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman: Yeh post office hai, police station nahi.
Man: Kya karu? Kahan jau? Sala Khushi k maare kuchh samajh me nahi aa raha.
Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life... The wives want both! :confused:
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye :icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Thanks...Kittu, Haritha, Amol and Manoj:p
Nice addition Amol.....Dil maangey more8-)
I am adding Some more....:mrgreen:
Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the schoolyard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are.8)
The first one said: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!" :icon2:
The second one said: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!" :p
Little Johnny listened :unsure:to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: "Sorry, dudes... but MY DAD is the fastest. He's a civil servant. He stops working at 5:30,... and he's home by 4:45!" :shock::-D:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Nice addition Amol.....Dil maangey more8-)
I am adding Some more....:mrgreen:
Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the schoolyard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are.8)
The first one said: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!" :icon2:
The second one said: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!" :p
Little Johnny listened :unsure:to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: "Sorry, dudes... but MY DAD is the fastest. He's a civil servant. He stops working at 5:30,... and he's home by 4:45!" :shock::-D:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Thanks dear:p
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears:no:. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. :p
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. 8-)
He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home." :evil:
"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny. :no:
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!":p The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?" :-?
The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." :p
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!" :icon2::mrgreen::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears:no:. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. :p
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. 8-)
He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home." :evil:
"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny. :no:
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!":p The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?" :-?
The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." :p
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!" :icon2::mrgreen::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
:-PThanks Malini
Johnny has just received his driver's license.:) His family goes out to the driveway and climbs into the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the backseat, directly behind the new driver.:huh::confused:
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. :icon10:
"Nope," replies his father, "I'm going to sit here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!" :-D:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Johnny has just received his driver's license.:) His family goes out to the driveway and climbs into the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the backseat, directly behind the new driver.:huh::confused:
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. :icon10:
"Nope," replies his father, "I'm going to sit here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!" :-D:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Thanks Chitra & Sindhu :-P
Time for some more :icon6:
Friend: yaar main apni girl friend ko kya gift doon?
Boy: diamond ka haar dedo.
Friend: na yaar koi aisi cheez bata jo us ko
kabhi kisi ne na di ho.
Boy: phansi de de.
2009 ka
Faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.
Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.
Faqir: mera number le lo,
jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.
Husband wife main ladai hogai
husband ghar se chala gaya.
raat ko phone aya
Husband: khane main kiya hai
Wife: zehar
Husband: khana kha lena main dair se aaonga.
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~~
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Time for some more :icon6:
Friend: yaar main apni girl friend ko kya gift doon?
Boy: diamond ka haar dedo.
Friend: na yaar koi aisi cheez bata jo us ko
kabhi kisi ne na di ho.
Boy: phansi de de.
2009 ka
Faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.
Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.
Faqir: mera number le lo,
jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.
Husband wife main ladai hogai
husband ghar se chala gaya.
raat ko phone aya
Husband: khane main kiya hai
Wife: zehar
Husband: khana kha lena main dair se aaonga.
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~~
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Thanks Sindhu & Hima :-P
SO WRONG .......BUT SO FUNNY
A woman takes a lover home during the day
while her husband is at work.
Her 9year old son comes home unexpectedly, he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing
that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is..'
Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No, thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man: 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the last time,
asks the boy, How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy , 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'
The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door..
Wait For It !!
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now..'
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
SO WRONG .......BUT SO FUNNY
A woman takes a lover home during the day
while her husband is at work.
Her 9year old son comes home unexpectedly, he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing
that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is..'
Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No, thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man: 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the last time,
asks the boy, How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy , 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'
The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door..
Wait For It !!
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now..'
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
:-DAkli Bakli hilarious Amol:icon6:
Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything, tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short everything that they could think of. :(
Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local CatholicSchool. :icon10:
After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face.:icon8:
He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books and paper are spread out all over the room & Little Johnny is hard at work.:-D
His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner & to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for some time, day after day while the Mother tries to understand what made all the difference.:?:
Finally, Little Johnny brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table & goes up to his room and hits the books.
With great trepidation, his mom looks at it & to her surprise, Little Johnny got an A in Math. :-P
She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room & says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" little Johnny looks at her and shakes his head no.
"Well then," She asks "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it??" :o
Little Johnny looks at her and say "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.":-D:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything, tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short everything that they could think of. :(
Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local CatholicSchool. :icon10:
After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face.:icon8:
He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books and paper are spread out all over the room & Little Johnny is hard at work.:-D
His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner & to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for some time, day after day while the Mother tries to understand what made all the difference.:?:
Finally, Little Johnny brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table & goes up to his room and hits the books.
With great trepidation, his mom looks at it & to her surprise, Little Johnny got an A in Math. :-P
She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room & says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" little Johnny looks at her and shakes his head no.
"Well then," She asks "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it??" :o
Little Johnny looks at her and say "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.":-D:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
Shukriya & Good one Sindhu :-D
Time for some more :-D :-D
सर : दुनिया का सबसे पुराना जानवर कौन सा है ?
संता : जैबरा!
सर : कैसे ?
संता : क्योंकि वो ब्लैक एंड वाईट है!
माँ : बेटा लड्डू खायेगा ?
बेटा : नहीं माँ
माँ : टॉफी खायेगा ?
बेटा : नहीं माँ
माँ : खाना ?
बेटा : नहीं माँ
माँ : मरजाणा अपने बाप पर गया है सिर्फ जूतियाँ ही खायेगा
कंजूस मालिक कर्मचारी से: तुमने इस साल मेहनत से काम किया है ! इसलिए मैं तुम्हें 5000 रू० का बोनस चैक दे रहा हूँ !
कर्मचारी : सच में मालिक ?
कंजूस मालिक: हाँ ! अगर इसी तरहा से काम करते रहोगे ! तो अगले साल इस पर साइन करूँगा !
लड़का :(एक खुबसूरत लड़की को देखकर ) हाय चाँद आज दिन में कैसे निकल आया ?
लड़की : अरे उल्लू तो रात को बोलते हैं दिन में कबसे बोलने लग पड़े !
राम : ओये तेरा एक दांत नीला क्यों हो गया ?
शाम : यार मैंने इंक लगाई है !
राम : वोह क्यों ?
शाम : क्योकि आज कल ब्लूटूथ का ज़माना है यार!
प्रीतो: मेरे प्रेमी बंता का कोई बाल भी बांका नहीं कर सकता !
जीतो: क्या वह बहुत बहादुर है !
प्रीतो: नहीं वह गंजा है
डॉक्टर ने अपनी लाइफ का पहला ऑपरेशन किया !
ऑपरेशन की थोडी देर बाद ही मरीज मर गया !
मरीज के मरने के बाद डॉक्टर ने दीवार पर टांगी भगवन की तस्वीर की और हाथ जोड़कर सर झुकाते हुए कहा : हे प्रभु मेरी और से यह पहली भेंट स्वीकार कीजिये !
नोकर साहिब से : मालिक , रामू आपको गधे के बराबर भी नहीं समझता !
रामू : नहीं मालिक , यह झूठ बोल रहा है , मैं तो समझता हूँ जी !
एक चोर अमीर आदमी के घर में चोरी करने गया !
तिजोरी पर लिखा था तिजोरी को तोड़ने की जरूरत नहीं है , 452 नंबर प्रेस करके सामने वाला लाल बटन दबाओ!
जैसे ही बटन दबा अलार्म बजा और पुलिस आ गयी !
जाते जाते चोर सेठ से बोला : आज मेरा इंसानियत से विश्वास उठ गया है
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Time for some more :-D :-D
सर : दुनिया का सबसे पुराना जानवर कौन सा है ?
संता : जैबरा!
सर : कैसे ?
संता : क्योंकि वो ब्लैक एंड वाईट है!
माँ : बेटा लड्डू खायेगा ?
बेटा : नहीं माँ
माँ : टॉफी खायेगा ?
बेटा : नहीं माँ
माँ : खाना ?
बेटा : नहीं माँ
माँ : मरजाणा अपने बाप पर गया है सिर्फ जूतियाँ ही खायेगा
कंजूस मालिक कर्मचारी से: तुमने इस साल मेहनत से काम किया है ! इसलिए मैं तुम्हें 5000 रू० का बोनस चैक दे रहा हूँ !
कर्मचारी : सच में मालिक ?
कंजूस मालिक: हाँ ! अगर इसी तरहा से काम करते रहोगे ! तो अगले साल इस पर साइन करूँगा !
लड़का :(एक खुबसूरत लड़की को देखकर ) हाय चाँद आज दिन में कैसे निकल आया ?
लड़की : अरे उल्लू तो रात को बोलते हैं दिन में कबसे बोलने लग पड़े !
राम : ओये तेरा एक दांत नीला क्यों हो गया ?
शाम : यार मैंने इंक लगाई है !
राम : वोह क्यों ?
शाम : क्योकि आज कल ब्लूटूथ का ज़माना है यार!
प्रीतो: मेरे प्रेमी बंता का कोई बाल भी बांका नहीं कर सकता !
जीतो: क्या वह बहुत बहादुर है !
प्रीतो: नहीं वह गंजा है
डॉक्टर ने अपनी लाइफ का पहला ऑपरेशन किया !
ऑपरेशन की थोडी देर बाद ही मरीज मर गया !
मरीज के मरने के बाद डॉक्टर ने दीवार पर टांगी भगवन की तस्वीर की और हाथ जोड़कर सर झुकाते हुए कहा : हे प्रभु मेरी और से यह पहली भेंट स्वीकार कीजिये !
नोकर साहिब से : मालिक , रामू आपको गधे के बराबर भी नहीं समझता !
रामू : नहीं मालिक , यह झूठ बोल रहा है , मैं तो समझता हूँ जी !
एक चोर अमीर आदमी के घर में चोरी करने गया !
तिजोरी पर लिखा था तिजोरी को तोड़ने की जरूरत नहीं है , 452 नंबर प्रेस करके सामने वाला लाल बटन दबाओ!
जैसे ही बटन दबा अलार्म बजा और पुलिस आ गयी !
जाते जाते चोर सेठ से बोला : आज मेरा इंसानियत से विश्वास उठ गया है
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Thanks Giri :razz:
Time for some more :-D
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks.
After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another."
The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.
"You have three wishes, choose them wisely." says the Genie.
The guy, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, "I want a beer that will never run out."
*Poof*
A bottle appears in front of the guy. He takes it, looks at it, and downs it. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full. The guy being very content starts walking away.
"Where are you going," asks the Genie, "You still have two wishes left!"
"Well," replies the guy, "Give me TWO more of these!"
An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking beer. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.
So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up.
This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"How did you know?" he asks.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Time for some more :-D
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks.
After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another."
The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.
"You have three wishes, choose them wisely." says the Genie.
The guy, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, "I want a beer that will never run out."
*Poof*
A bottle appears in front of the guy. He takes it, looks at it, and downs it. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full. The guy being very content starts walking away.
"Where are you going," asks the Genie, "You still have two wishes left!"
"Well," replies the guy, "Give me TWO more of these!"
An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking beer. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.
So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up.
This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"How did you know?" he asks.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
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