Oye dear....seeing your mixed emotions...poor Johnny ko hojayega Loose motions:icon8::icon6::icon6:
One more copy paste::-D
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.:-P
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray::icon10:
"Take only ONE. God is watching.":icon10:
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies:-D.
A child (of course Johnny) had written a note, "Take all You want. God is watching the apples!":-P:icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
5One more copy paste::-D
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.:-P
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray::icon10:
"Take only ONE. God is watching.":icon10:
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies:-D.
A child (of course Johnny) had written a note, "Take all You want. God is watching the apples!":-P:icon6::icon6:
From India, Delhi
LOL Shruti...... :icon6::icon6::icon6:
Leave out 'Emotions' ..If Johny answers like this Imagine his 'Promotions' :unsure::unsure::unsure:
Teacher: What,s ur Dad's qualification?
Johny : Sir , My dad is a Ph.d.
Teacher : What do u mean by Ph.d?
Johny : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY..!!
:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Madras
Leave out 'Emotions' ..If Johny answers like this Imagine his 'Promotions' :unsure::unsure::unsure:
Teacher: What,s ur Dad's qualification?
Johny : Sir , My dad is a Ph.d.
Teacher : What do u mean by Ph.d?
Johny : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY..!!
:icon6::icon6::icon6:
From India, Madras
...Hilarious one...Hima...keep sharing more:-D
One more..................:-D
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.:-P
Johnny: The future tense is "u will go to jail".:icon8::icon8::o
From India, Delhi
One more..................:-D
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.:-P
Johnny: The future tense is "u will go to jail".:icon8::icon8::o
From India, Delhi
One more one Little Johnny:
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
From Singapore
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
From Singapore
My submission of jokes:-D:)
One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the
kitchen, opened the sugar
bottle, peeped inside and closed it. His wife was
seeing this. After some
time Santa again went to the kitchen, opened the
Sugar Bottle, peeped inside
and closed it. His wife again saw this. Santa Singh
again and again did the
same thing. His wife was puzzled at why did he do
something like this.. So,
she asked Santa, 'Why did you open the Sugar bottle,
see inside and close it
often?' Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient
you know.... Our doctor
advised me to check up the Sugar often'.
A Sardarji bought a new car. Next day he is driving
his car to office. On
the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he
opened the door and got
down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked
him, 'How much should I
pay to turn right?' The Policeman was astonished and
asked, 'Why are you
asking like this?' Then Sardarji showed him the sign
board which was in the
corner of the road: 'Free Left Turn' .
Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to
answer the telephone. "Is
this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is
eleven eleven." "Are
you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is
eleven eleven." "Well,
wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have
woken you up on the middle
of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to
get up to answer the
telephone anyway."
From India, Bangalore
One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the
kitchen, opened the sugar
bottle, peeped inside and closed it. His wife was
seeing this. After some
time Santa again went to the kitchen, opened the
Sugar Bottle, peeped inside
and closed it. His wife again saw this. Santa Singh
again and again did the
same thing. His wife was puzzled at why did he do
something like this.. So,
she asked Santa, 'Why did you open the Sugar bottle,
see inside and close it
often?' Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient
you know.... Our doctor
advised me to check up the Sugar often'.
A Sardarji bought a new car. Next day he is driving
his car to office. On
the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he
opened the door and got
down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked
him, 'How much should I
pay to turn right?' The Policeman was astonished and
asked, 'Why are you
asking like this?' Then Sardarji showed him the sign
board which was in the
corner of the road: 'Free Left Turn' .
Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to
answer the telephone. "Is
this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is
eleven eleven." "Are
you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is
eleven eleven." "Well,
wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have
woken you up on the middle
of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to
get up to answer the
telephone anyway."
From India, Bangalore
Nice one Rahul & Balaji :-D
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!":icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!":icon6:
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears.
“That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny "And that's why crying now."
From India, Madras
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears.
“That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny "And that's why crying now."
From India, Madras
Little Johnny’s teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister’s." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it’s the same dog!"
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Nice one Malini....:) One from my side... TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. L-JOHNNY: Me! Regards AK
From India, Thana
From India, Thana
Nice one Sindhu...
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I've already got one at home....
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I've already got one at home....
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
Regards
AK
From India, Thana
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