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How to write an email requesting deputation to a branch nearby my home? - CiteHR

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Anonymous
Sir I want to know how to write an email requesting deputation to a branch nearby my home as I am a mom of 6 month old baby and I want to take care of her also my mom can baby sit her otherwise we need to look for a agency person which is not desirable from the side of my family.My request for transfer is still pending with HR.
From India, Bengaluru
Dinesh Divekar
7736

Dear Sree,
You could have searched the forum to get the draft. Anyway, you may check my following replies:
https://www.citehr.com/386470-i-need...ml#post1770055
https://www.citehr.com/406263-draft-...ml#post1850252
https://www.citehr.com/253417-draft-...ml#post1136711
Take clue from the above posts, prepare draft on your own and if you wish upload on this forum. Some senior like me will correct it. By the way, your post merits feedback. There is no background information like where you work, in what capacity you work, how you are working etc. Secondly, words like "mom" are used in informal communication and have no place in formal communication. Lastly, you have written your post as if you were scribbling your thoughts on a scrapbook. There is no structure to your sentences. It is high time for you to learn principles of written communication.
Thanks,
Dinesh Divekar

From India, Bangalore
Anonymous
Sir, Thank you for the suggestions but I want to get the exact wordings for the mail.If I am good at writing mail I wont seek your help.Kindly help me to draft a convincing mail as this is very urgent.I will take your feedback positively and try to improve my language.
From India, Bengaluru
NK SUNDARAM
569

Dinesh sir, It was an SMS for you, posted in this forum, as she did not have your mobile number perhaps !!! English language has got corrupted with the advent of sms and whatsapp !!! One solace for us is that in the UK also, many of the English words that we now use here, have become obsolete with the new generation !!! People know these days only punctures but certainly not punctuations !
From India
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