By Sudha Murthy ...
It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friendPrasanna
who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of
the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which
meant that I had a preconceived image of the man.
Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy, bespectacled and an
introvert when he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback
as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since
I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we
all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at Green
Fields hotel on the Main Road, Pune.
The next day I went there at 7' o clock since I had to go to
the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in
front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty
maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the
tailor at 7 so that I could meet him...And I maintain that I did
not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not
think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We
have agreed to disagree on this matter. Soon, we became friends. Our
conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the
books that he has read.
My friends insisted that Murty was trying to impress me
because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day,
after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this was
it.
It was coming. He said, I am5'4" tall. I come from a lower
middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can
never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and
intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked
Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to
marry a wannabe politician,(a communist at that) who didn't have a
steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...
When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his
proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from
Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father
asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was
working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was
willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet
Murty in Pune on a particular day at10a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up.
How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot
keep an appointment, asked my father.
At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone
on work to Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he
hired a taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be
father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he
wanted to become in life. Murty said he wanted to become a
politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father
gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody
who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he
himself didn't have money to support his family.
Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something,
which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I
had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as
love.I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed
to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father
that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same
time,I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if
Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will
not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was
caught between the two most important people in my life.
The stalemate continued for three years during which our
courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In
those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much
to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd.,
one of the world's most reputed companies.
He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he
would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return
it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt
to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after
my wedding. The amount was a little over Rs 4000.
During this interim period Murty quit his job as research
assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay
his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India
in a big way.
During the fag end of1977 Murty decided to take up a job as
General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay. But before he joined
the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training
to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had
a decent job, now.
WE WERE MARRIED INMURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10,
1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWOFAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI.
THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I
POOLING IN RS 400 EACH.
I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged
me to see America on my own because I loved traveling. I toured
America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which
will remain fresh in my mind forever.
Like the time when the New York police took me into custody
because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem.
Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon
with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a
response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either
killed or kidnapped.
IN 1981 MURTY WANTEDTO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND
ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting
into business. We did not have any business background. Moreover we
were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I
didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about
creating good quality software. I decided to support him.
Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I
gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his
knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you
three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of
our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you
have only three years!
Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with
enormous interest and hard work. In1982 I left Telco and moved to
Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became
the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also
took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of
Industries to support the house. In 1983 Infosys got their first
client, MICO, in Bangalore. Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed
with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child,
Rohan.Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project
work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty
in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to
vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our
home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after
Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented
a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys
headquarters. My father presented Murty a scooter to commute. I
once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office
assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed
with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for
Infosys.
There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us
working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was
taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other
partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were
trying to build something good.
It was like a big joint family, taking care and looking out
for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my
daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal
cooked for all of us.
Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him
working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved
with Infosys initially. Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on
the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at
Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and
technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with
Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I
will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I
would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love
doing.
It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's
request. I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give
one's 100 percent. One had to be focused on it alone with no other
distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys
then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had
to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys. I
opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a
big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty
says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible
for my success. I might have given up my career for my husband's sake.
But that does not make me a doormat...
Many think that I have been made the sacrificial lamb at
Narayan Murty's altar of success. A few women journalists have
even accused me of setting a wrong example by giving up my dreams to
make my husbands a reality. Isn't freedom about living your life the
way you want it? What is right for one person might be wrong for another.
It is up to the individual to make a choice that is effective in her life.
I feel that when a woman gives up her right to choose for herself is when
she crosses over from being an individual to a doormat.
Murty's dreams encompassed not only himself but a generation
of people. It was about founding something worthy, exemplary and
honorable. It was about creation and distribution of wealth. His
dreams were grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when
I had to choose between Murty's career and mine, I opted for what I
thought was a right choice. We had a home and two little children.
Measles, mumps, fractures, PTA meetings, wants and needs of
growing children do not care much for grandiose dreams. They just needed
to be attended to. Somebody had to take care of it all. Somebody had
to stay back to create a home base that would be fertile for healthy
growth, happiness, and more dreams to dream. I became that
somebody willingly. I can confidently say that if I had had a dream like
Infosys, Murty would have given me his unstinted support. The
roles would have been reversed.
We are not bound by the archaic rules of marriage. I cook
for him but I don't wait up to serve dinner like a traditional wife.
So, he has no hassles about heating up the food and having his dinner.
He does not intrude into my time especially when I am writing my
novels.
He does not interfere in my work at the Infosys Foundation and I
don't interfere with the running of Infosys. I teach Computer
Science to MBA and MCA students at Christ college for a few hours every
week and I earn around Rs 50,000 a year. I value this financial
independence greatly though there is no need for me to pursue a
teaching career. Murty respects that. I travel all over the world
without Murty because he hates traveling. We trust each other
implicitly. We have another understanding too. While he earns the
money, I spend it, mostly through the charity.
Philanthropy is a profession and an art... The Infosys
Foundation was born in 1997 with the sole objective of uplifting
the less-privileged sections of society. IN THE PAST THREE YEARS WE
HAVE BUILT HOSPITALS, ORPHANAGES, REHABILITATION CENTRES, SCHOOL
BUILDINGS, SCIENCE CENTRES AND MORETHAN 3500 LIBRARIES. Our work
is mainly in the rural areas amongst women and children. I am one of
the trustees and our activities span six states including Karnataka,
Tamil Nadu,Andhra, Orissa, Chandigarh and Maharashtra. I travel to
around 800 villages constantly. Infosys Foundation has a minimal
staff of three trustees and three office members. We all work very
hard to achieve our goals and that is the reason why Infosys
Foundation has a distinct identity. Every year we donate around Rs
5-6 crore (Rs 50 - 60 million). We run Infosys Foundation the way
Murty runs Infosys in a professional and scientific way.
Philanthropy is a profession and an art. It can be used or
misused. We slowly want to increase the donations and we dream of
time when Infosys Foundation could donate large amounts of money.
Every year we receive more than 10,000 applications for donations.
Everyday I receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these, there are
those who genuinely need help and there are hood winkers too. I
receive letters asking me to donate Rs five lakh to someone
because five lakh is, like peanuts to Infosys. Some people write to us
asking for free Infosys shares.
Over the years I have learnt to differentiate the wheat from
the chaff, though I still give a patient hearing to all the cases.
Sometimes I feel I have lost the ability to trust people. I have
become shrewder to avoid being conned.
It saddens me to realize that even as a person is talking to
me I try to analyze them: Has he come here for any donation? Why is
he praising my work or enquiring about my health, does he want some
money from me? Eight out of ten times I am right. They do want my
money. But I feel bad for the other two whom I suspected. I think
that is the price that I have to pay for the position that I am in
now.
The greatest difficulty in having money is teaching your
children the value of it and trying to keep them on a straight
line.... Bringing up children n a moneyed atmosphere is a
difficult task. EVEN TODAY I THINK TWICE IF I HAVE TO SPEND RS 10 ON AN AUTO
WHEN I CAN WALK UP TO MY HOUSE. I cannot expect my children to do
the same. They have seen money from the time they were born. But we
can lead by example. When they see Murty wash his own plate after
eating and clean the two toilets in the house everyday they realize that
no work is demeaning irrespective of how rich you are. I DON'T
HAVE A MAID AT HOME
BECAUSE I DON'T SEE THE NEED FOR ONE. When children see both
parents working hard, living a simple life, most of the times they
tend to follow. This doesn't mean we expect our children to live
an austere life. My children buy what they want and go where they
want but they have to follow certain rules. They will have to show me a
bill for whatever they buy. My daughter can buy five new outfits
but she has to give away five old ones. My son can go out with his
friends for lunch or dinner but if he wants to go to a five star
hotel, we discourage it. Or we accompany him. So far my children
haven't given me any heartbreak. They are good children. My eldest
daughter is studying abroad, whereas my son is studying in
Bangalore.They don't use their father's name in vain. If asked, they only
say that his name is Murty and that he works for Infosys. They don't
want to be recognized and appreciated because of their father or me but
for themselves.
I DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HAVING MONEY FOR WE HAVE WORKED HARD FOR
IT. BUT I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE FLAUNTING IT...IT IS A CONSCIOUS
DECISION ON OUR PART TO LIVE A SIMPLE, SO-CALLED MIDDLE CLASS
LIFE.
WE LIVE IN THE SAME TWO- BEDROOM, PARSELY FURNISHED HOUSE
EFORE INFOSYS BECAME A SUCCESS. Our only extravagance is buying
books and CDs. MY HOUSE HAS NO LOCKERS FOR I HAVE NO JEWELS. I
WEAR A STONE EARRING WHICH I BOUGHT IN BOMBAY FOR RS100. I don't even
wear my mangalsutra until I attend some family functions or I am with
my mother-in-law. I am not fond of jewellery or saris. Five years ago,
I went to Kashi where tradition demands that you give up something
and I gave up shopping. Since then I haven't bought myself a sari or
gone shopping. It is my friends who gift me with saris. Murty bought me
a sari a long time ago. It was not to my taste and I told him to
refrain from buying saris for me in the future. I am no good at
selecting men's clothes either. It is my daughter who does the
shopping for us. I still have the same sofa at home which my
daughter wants to change. However, we have indulged ourselves with each one
having their own music system and computer. I don't carry a purse
and neither does Murty most of the time. I do tell him to keep some
small change with him but he doesn't. I borrow money from my secretary
or my driver if I need cash. They know my habit so they always carry
extra cash with them. But I settle the accounts every evening.
MURTY AND I ARE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH OUR LIFESTYLE AND WE DON'T SEE THE
NEED TO CHANGE IT. NOW THAT WE HAVE MONEY. Murty and I are two
opposites that complement each other... Murty is sensitive and
romantic in his own way. He always gifts me books addressed to
From Me to You. Or to the person I most admire etc. We both love books.
We are both complete opposites. I am an extrovert and he is an
introvert. I love watching movies and listening to classical
music.Murty loves listening to English classical music. I go out for
movies with my students and secretary every other week. I am still young at
heart. I really enjoyed watching "Kaho Na Pyaar Hai" and I am a
Hrithik Roshan fan. It has been more than 20 years since Murty and
I went for a movie. My daughter once gave us a surprise by booking
tickets for "Titanic". Since I had a prior engagement that day,
Murty went for the movie with his secretary Pandu. I love traveling
whereas Murty loves spending time at home. Friends come and go with the
share prices... Even in my dreams,
I did not expect Infosys to grow like the way it has. I
don't think even Murty envisioned this phenomenal success, at least not
in 1981. After Infosys went public in 1993, we became what people
would call as rich, moneyed people. I was shocked to see what was
happening to Infosys and to us. Suddenly you see and hear about so much
money.Your name and photo is splashed in the papers. People talk about
you.It was all new to me. SUDDENLY I HAVE PEOPLE WALKING UP TO ME
SAYING, OH, WE WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, WE HAD A MEAL 25 YEARS AGO.THEY
CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN PRESENT AT OUR WEDDING (WHICH IS AN UTTER LIE BECAUSE
ONLY MY FAMILY WAS PRESENT AT MY WEDDING). I DON'T EVEN KNOW ALL
THESE PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO KNOW MURTY AND ME SO WELL. But that
doesn't mean I don't have true friends. I do have genuine friends, a
handful,who have been with me for a very long time. My equation with these
people has not changed and vices versa. I am ALSO VERY CLOSE TO
NARAYAN MURTY'S family, especially my sister-in-law KAMALA MURTY,
a SCHOOLTEACHER, who is more of a dear friend to me. I have
discovered that these are the few relationships and friendships that don't
fluctuate depending on the price of Infosys shares.
Have I lost my identity as a woman, in Murty's shadow? No. I
might be Mrs.Narayan Murty. I might be Akshata and Rohan's mother.
I might be the trustee of Infosys Foundation. But I am still Sudha.
I play different roles like all women. That doesn't mean we don't
have our own identity. Women have that extra quality of adaptability
and learn to fit into different shoes. But we are our own selves
still.And we have to exact our freedom by making the right choices in
our lives, dictated by us and not by the world.
From India
6It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friendPrasanna
who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of
the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which
meant that I had a preconceived image of the man.
Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy, bespectacled and an
introvert when he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback
as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since
I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we
all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at Green
Fields hotel on the Main Road, Pune.
The next day I went there at 7' o clock since I had to go to
the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in
front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty
maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the
tailor at 7 so that I could meet him...And I maintain that I did
not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not
think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We
have agreed to disagree on this matter. Soon, we became friends. Our
conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the
books that he has read.
My friends insisted that Murty was trying to impress me
because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day,
after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this was
it.
It was coming. He said, I am5'4" tall. I come from a lower
middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can
never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and
intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked
Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to
marry a wannabe politician,(a communist at that) who didn't have a
steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...
When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his
proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from
Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father
asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was
working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was
willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet
Murty in Pune on a particular day at10a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up.
How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot
keep an appointment, asked my father.
At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone
on work to Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he
hired a taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be
father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he
wanted to become in life. Murty said he wanted to become a
politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father
gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody
who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he
himself didn't have money to support his family.
Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something,
which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I
had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as
love.I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed
to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father
that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same
time,I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if
Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will
not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was
caught between the two most important people in my life.
The stalemate continued for three years during which our
courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In
those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much
to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd.,
one of the world's most reputed companies.
He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he
would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return
it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt
to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after
my wedding. The amount was a little over Rs 4000.
During this interim period Murty quit his job as research
assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay
his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India
in a big way.
During the fag end of1977 Murty decided to take up a job as
General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay. But before he joined
the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training
to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had
a decent job, now.
WE WERE MARRIED INMURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10,
1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWOFAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI.
THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I
POOLING IN RS 400 EACH.
I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged
me to see America on my own because I loved traveling. I toured
America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which
will remain fresh in my mind forever.
Like the time when the New York police took me into custody
because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem.
Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon
with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a
response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either
killed or kidnapped.
IN 1981 MURTY WANTEDTO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND
ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting
into business. We did not have any business background. Moreover we
were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I
didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about
creating good quality software. I decided to support him.
Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I
gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his
knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you
three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of
our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you
have only three years!
Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with
enormous interest and hard work. In1982 I left Telco and moved to
Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became
the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also
took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of
Industries to support the house. In 1983 Infosys got their first
client, MICO, in Bangalore. Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed
with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child,
Rohan.Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project
work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty
in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to
vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our
home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after
Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented
a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys
headquarters. My father presented Murty a scooter to commute. I
once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office
assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed
with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for
Infosys.
There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us
working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was
taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other
partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were
trying to build something good.
It was like a big joint family, taking care and looking out
for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my
daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal
cooked for all of us.
Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him
working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved
with Infosys initially. Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on
the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at
Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and
technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with
Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I
will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I
would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love
doing.
It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's
request. I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give
one's 100 percent. One had to be focused on it alone with no other
distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys
then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had
to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys. I
opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a
big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty
says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible
for my success. I might have given up my career for my husband's sake.
But that does not make me a doormat...
Many think that I have been made the sacrificial lamb at
Narayan Murty's altar of success. A few women journalists have
even accused me of setting a wrong example by giving up my dreams to
make my husbands a reality. Isn't freedom about living your life the
way you want it? What is right for one person might be wrong for another.
It is up to the individual to make a choice that is effective in her life.
I feel that when a woman gives up her right to choose for herself is when
she crosses over from being an individual to a doormat.
Murty's dreams encompassed not only himself but a generation
of people. It was about founding something worthy, exemplary and
honorable. It was about creation and distribution of wealth. His
dreams were grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when
I had to choose between Murty's career and mine, I opted for what I
thought was a right choice. We had a home and two little children.
Measles, mumps, fractures, PTA meetings, wants and needs of
growing children do not care much for grandiose dreams. They just needed
to be attended to. Somebody had to take care of it all. Somebody had
to stay back to create a home base that would be fertile for healthy
growth, happiness, and more dreams to dream. I became that
somebody willingly. I can confidently say that if I had had a dream like
Infosys, Murty would have given me his unstinted support. The
roles would have been reversed.
We are not bound by the archaic rules of marriage. I cook
for him but I don't wait up to serve dinner like a traditional wife.
So, he has no hassles about heating up the food and having his dinner.
He does not intrude into my time especially when I am writing my
novels.
He does not interfere in my work at the Infosys Foundation and I
don't interfere with the running of Infosys. I teach Computer
Science to MBA and MCA students at Christ college for a few hours every
week and I earn around Rs 50,000 a year. I value this financial
independence greatly though there is no need for me to pursue a
teaching career. Murty respects that. I travel all over the world
without Murty because he hates traveling. We trust each other
implicitly. We have another understanding too. While he earns the
money, I spend it, mostly through the charity.
Philanthropy is a profession and an art... The Infosys
Foundation was born in 1997 with the sole objective of uplifting
the less-privileged sections of society. IN THE PAST THREE YEARS WE
HAVE BUILT HOSPITALS, ORPHANAGES, REHABILITATION CENTRES, SCHOOL
BUILDINGS, SCIENCE CENTRES AND MORETHAN 3500 LIBRARIES. Our work
is mainly in the rural areas amongst women and children. I am one of
the trustees and our activities span six states including Karnataka,
Tamil Nadu,Andhra, Orissa, Chandigarh and Maharashtra. I travel to
around 800 villages constantly. Infosys Foundation has a minimal
staff of three trustees and three office members. We all work very
hard to achieve our goals and that is the reason why Infosys
Foundation has a distinct identity. Every year we donate around Rs
5-6 crore (Rs 50 - 60 million). We run Infosys Foundation the way
Murty runs Infosys in a professional and scientific way.
Philanthropy is a profession and an art. It can be used or
misused. We slowly want to increase the donations and we dream of
time when Infosys Foundation could donate large amounts of money.
Every year we receive more than 10,000 applications for donations.
Everyday I receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these, there are
those who genuinely need help and there are hood winkers too. I
receive letters asking me to donate Rs five lakh to someone
because five lakh is, like peanuts to Infosys. Some people write to us
asking for free Infosys shares.
Over the years I have learnt to differentiate the wheat from
the chaff, though I still give a patient hearing to all the cases.
Sometimes I feel I have lost the ability to trust people. I have
become shrewder to avoid being conned.
It saddens me to realize that even as a person is talking to
me I try to analyze them: Has he come here for any donation? Why is
he praising my work or enquiring about my health, does he want some
money from me? Eight out of ten times I am right. They do want my
money. But I feel bad for the other two whom I suspected. I think
that is the price that I have to pay for the position that I am in
now.
The greatest difficulty in having money is teaching your
children the value of it and trying to keep them on a straight
line.... Bringing up children n a moneyed atmosphere is a
difficult task. EVEN TODAY I THINK TWICE IF I HAVE TO SPEND RS 10 ON AN AUTO
WHEN I CAN WALK UP TO MY HOUSE. I cannot expect my children to do
the same. They have seen money from the time they were born. But we
can lead by example. When they see Murty wash his own plate after
eating and clean the two toilets in the house everyday they realize that
no work is demeaning irrespective of how rich you are. I DON'T
HAVE A MAID AT HOME
BECAUSE I DON'T SEE THE NEED FOR ONE. When children see both
parents working hard, living a simple life, most of the times they
tend to follow. This doesn't mean we expect our children to live
an austere life. My children buy what they want and go where they
want but they have to follow certain rules. They will have to show me a
bill for whatever they buy. My daughter can buy five new outfits
but she has to give away five old ones. My son can go out with his
friends for lunch or dinner but if he wants to go to a five star
hotel, we discourage it. Or we accompany him. So far my children
haven't given me any heartbreak. They are good children. My eldest
daughter is studying abroad, whereas my son is studying in
Bangalore.They don't use their father's name in vain. If asked, they only
say that his name is Murty and that he works for Infosys. They don't
want to be recognized and appreciated because of their father or me but
for themselves.
I DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HAVING MONEY FOR WE HAVE WORKED HARD FOR
IT. BUT I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE FLAUNTING IT...IT IS A CONSCIOUS
DECISION ON OUR PART TO LIVE A SIMPLE, SO-CALLED MIDDLE CLASS
LIFE.
WE LIVE IN THE SAME TWO- BEDROOM, PARSELY FURNISHED HOUSE
EFORE INFOSYS BECAME A SUCCESS. Our only extravagance is buying
books and CDs. MY HOUSE HAS NO LOCKERS FOR I HAVE NO JEWELS. I
WEAR A STONE EARRING WHICH I BOUGHT IN BOMBAY FOR RS100. I don't even
wear my mangalsutra until I attend some family functions or I am with
my mother-in-law. I am not fond of jewellery or saris. Five years ago,
I went to Kashi where tradition demands that you give up something
and I gave up shopping. Since then I haven't bought myself a sari or
gone shopping. It is my friends who gift me with saris. Murty bought me
a sari a long time ago. It was not to my taste and I told him to
refrain from buying saris for me in the future. I am no good at
selecting men's clothes either. It is my daughter who does the
shopping for us. I still have the same sofa at home which my
daughter wants to change. However, we have indulged ourselves with each one
having their own music system and computer. I don't carry a purse
and neither does Murty most of the time. I do tell him to keep some
small change with him but he doesn't. I borrow money from my secretary
or my driver if I need cash. They know my habit so they always carry
extra cash with them. But I settle the accounts every evening.
MURTY AND I ARE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH OUR LIFESTYLE AND WE DON'T SEE THE
NEED TO CHANGE IT. NOW THAT WE HAVE MONEY. Murty and I are two
opposites that complement each other... Murty is sensitive and
romantic in his own way. He always gifts me books addressed to
From Me to You. Or to the person I most admire etc. We both love books.
We are both complete opposites. I am an extrovert and he is an
introvert. I love watching movies and listening to classical
music.Murty loves listening to English classical music. I go out for
movies with my students and secretary every other week. I am still young at
heart. I really enjoyed watching "Kaho Na Pyaar Hai" and I am a
Hrithik Roshan fan. It has been more than 20 years since Murty and
I went for a movie. My daughter once gave us a surprise by booking
tickets for "Titanic". Since I had a prior engagement that day,
Murty went for the movie with his secretary Pandu. I love traveling
whereas Murty loves spending time at home. Friends come and go with the
share prices... Even in my dreams,
I did not expect Infosys to grow like the way it has. I
don't think even Murty envisioned this phenomenal success, at least not
in 1981. After Infosys went public in 1993, we became what people
would call as rich, moneyed people. I was shocked to see what was
happening to Infosys and to us. Suddenly you see and hear about so much
money.Your name and photo is splashed in the papers. People talk about
you.It was all new to me. SUDDENLY I HAVE PEOPLE WALKING UP TO ME
SAYING, OH, WE WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, WE HAD A MEAL 25 YEARS AGO.THEY
CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN PRESENT AT OUR WEDDING (WHICH IS AN UTTER LIE BECAUSE
ONLY MY FAMILY WAS PRESENT AT MY WEDDING). I DON'T EVEN KNOW ALL
THESE PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO KNOW MURTY AND ME SO WELL. But that
doesn't mean I don't have true friends. I do have genuine friends, a
handful,who have been with me for a very long time. My equation with these
people has not changed and vices versa. I am ALSO VERY CLOSE TO
NARAYAN MURTY'S family, especially my sister-in-law KAMALA MURTY,
a SCHOOLTEACHER, who is more of a dear friend to me. I have
discovered that these are the few relationships and friendships that don't
fluctuate depending on the price of Infosys shares.
Have I lost my identity as a woman, in Murty's shadow? No. I
might be Mrs.Narayan Murty. I might be Akshata and Rohan's mother.
I might be the trustee of Infosys Foundation. But I am still Sudha.
I play different roles like all women. That doesn't mean we don't
have our own identity. Women have that extra quality of adaptability
and learn to fit into different shoes. But we are our own selves
still.And we have to exact our freedom by making the right choices in
our lives, dictated by us and not by the world.
From India
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