Kiss Math:
A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”
In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”
Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”
sUMAN
From India, Calcutta
1A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”
In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”
Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”
sUMAN
From India, Calcutta
Yamraaj se panga !!!!
A man died and went to the skies.
Yamraj met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, ‘Before you meet with God, I should tell you - you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not sure what to do with you. Tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?’
The man thought for a moment and replied, ‘Once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a gang. So I got out and went up to the leader of the gang.’
‘He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!’ the man said.
‘I’m impressed,’ Yamraj responded, ‘When did this happen?’
From India, Calcutta
A man died and went to the skies.
Yamraj met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, ‘Before you meet with God, I should tell you - you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not sure what to do with you. Tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?’
The man thought for a moment and replied, ‘Once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a gang. So I got out and went up to the leader of the gang.’
‘He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!’ the man said.
‘I’m impressed,’ Yamraj responded, ‘When did this happen?’
From India, Calcutta
Cheating Huysband
lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any
cyanide!”
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
From India, Calcutta
lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any
cyanide!”
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
From India, Calcutta
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid.
The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
From India, Delhi
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid.
The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
From India, Delhi
What is marriage ????
What is marraige?
Marraige is like:
Alpenliable- jee lalchaye raha na jaye
TVS Victor- milo chalti muskaan
Kinetic Zing- sabki hawa nikal de
Asian Paint- ye rang jo harek ki jindagi sawarde
KrackJack- thoda meetha thoda namkin
Monaco- halka fulka
Chlormint- dubara mat puchhna!!!
Suman
From India, Calcutta
What is marraige?
Marraige is like:
Alpenliable- jee lalchaye raha na jaye
TVS Victor- milo chalti muskaan
Kinetic Zing- sabki hawa nikal de
Asian Paint- ye rang jo harek ki jindagi sawarde
KrackJack- thoda meetha thoda namkin
Monaco- halka fulka
Chlormint- dubara mat puchhna!!!
Suman
From India, Calcutta
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. “Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.”
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought,
“That’s really not so bad.”
When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, “New house, new madam, new girls.”
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman’s husband ‘Keith’ came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
“Hi, Keith!”
From India, Delhi
The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.”
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought,
“That’s really not so bad.”
When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, “New house, new madam, new girls.”
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman’s husband ‘Keith’ came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
“Hi, Keith!”
From India, Delhi
Itne kaam marks Bhola: Itne kum marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine oos master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
From India, Calcutta
From India, Calcutta
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang -
but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!"the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ....what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardar is napping on the lawns of cross-maidan, next to a donkey. A passer-by asks him, "Sardarji, do you know what time it is?" Sardar lifts a leg of the donkey and says, "5:00 pm". Another passer-by asks him for time. Sardar does the same thing again and tells him the time. All this while a curious person has been watching what is going on. He approaches the Sardar and asks, "Arre, sardraji, kya bat hai, gadhe ki taang utha ke time bata sakte ho!" Sardar coolly says, "Arre bhai, gadha beech mein soya hai, to woh rajabai tower ki ghadi nahin dikhti, isliye uski taang uthani padti hai..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the
office
From India, Bombay
but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!"the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ....what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardar is napping on the lawns of cross-maidan, next to a donkey. A passer-by asks him, "Sardarji, do you know what time it is?" Sardar lifts a leg of the donkey and says, "5:00 pm". Another passer-by asks him for time. Sardar does the same thing again and tells him the time. All this while a curious person has been watching what is going on. He approaches the Sardar and asks, "Arre, sardraji, kya bat hai, gadhe ki taang utha ke time bata sakte ho!" Sardar coolly says, "Arre bhai, gadha beech mein soya hai, to woh rajabai tower ki ghadi nahin dikhti, isliye uski taang uthani padti hai..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the
office
From India, Bombay
What if IT industry starts making flims?
Some future film titles will be like :-
1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai—Humara dil apke paas hai
2) Aao chat kare—Aao Pyar Kare
3) Programmer no.1—Coolie no.1
4) Mera naam developer—Mera naam joker
5) Java wale job le jayenge—Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
From India, Calcutta
Some future film titles will be like :-
1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai—Humara dil apke paas hai
2) Aao chat kare—Aao Pyar Kare
3) Programmer no.1—Coolie no.1
4) Mera naam developer—Mera naam joker
5) Java wale job le jayenge—Dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge
From India, Calcutta
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